Ooh look, a rather interesting piece of Hannibal meta. Warning: contains spoilers for episode 2.05, Mukozuke.
the queen … … . i s w i t h c h i l d.
In case you were wondering what happens after the finale of The Musketeers, the answer is nine months of Athos giving Aramis the most galactically huge side-eye that the 17th century has ever seen…
Another mini-Muskelady for Musketeers finale week. This time it’s mini-Milady, perfect for all your diminutive assassination needs!
Another mini-Muskelady for my Musketeers finale week project: it’s mini-Queen Anne!
Quiz time! As you can see, these images show Aramis from The Musketeers, but what is he doing? Is he:
a) Demonstrating the 17th-century precursor to the Birdie Dance?
b) Modelling anachronistic Bermuda shorts for Paris Fashion Week?
c) Explaining why The Musketeers is a worthy successor to Merlin in many regards and generally a delightful source of all-round entertainment?
d) Reminding me exactly why I pay the BBC licence fee and consider it to be excellent value for money?
I’m sure d) is a statement of fact, but I strongly suspect a), b) and c) may also be correct…
national gallery, rome: marble butts appreciation
It’s the third anniversary of my Tumblr today, so in order to thank you, my faithful viewers, for your continued attention, I suppose I should reblog some of the strikingly intellectual content that you (probably) follow me for….
This week’s Mighty Moment In Slash History has a topical angle, due to the fact that the grubby phenomenon of the “upskirt” photo recently became illegal in Massachusetts. Back in the 16th century, however, if you wanted a pervy upskirt shot, you had to commission someone to paint one for you, which made the whole business slightly classier, albeit quite a lot slower.
This particular example is actually on the ceiling of a grand chamber in the Palazzo Te, a palace in Mantua, Italy, that was built for Duke Federico II Gonzaga. Because it was meant to be viewed from below by the Duke and his houseguests, it makes striking use of what art historians call “innovative foreshortening” and what modern commentators are more likely to call “a high chance of teabagging”. It depicts the moment when evening falls: the chariot of the Sun, driven by the god Apollo, is leaving the sky, while the chariot of the Moon, driven by the goddess Diana, is hoving into view on the opposite side. Like the full-tilt diva he was, however, Apollo is stealing Diana’s thunder by proving he can moon pretty vigorously himself.
Best of all, there are no nasty consent issues here. You can gawp all you like because this is the pansexually promiscuous Apollo we’re talking about, and frankly, he WANTS you to look. In fact, it’s probably why he signed up for the sun-chariot gig in the first place. After all, if you’re a sun-god, there’s no such thing as the place where the sun doesn’t shine…
Somehow, two years have passed since I first posted Otters Who Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch. This makes today my second Otterversary. Gosh.
In those two years, the Cumberotters have appeared in umpteen newspapers and magazines, on the Letterman Show and on Graham Norton (twice), and have been discussed by Benedict in several interviews, and they’re even trotted out regularly as a standard example of silly internet memes. Despite what must be a rather tedious ongoing barrage of inquiries, Benedict has continued to be charmingly polite about the whole thing (to the extent of acknowledging a resemblance), while I remain mildly astonished, often uncredited (alas!), but always highly amused.
Some day, I hope to meet Mr Cumberbatch face to face and apologize profusely. Until then, I can only say: Benedict, I’m so, so sorry: I had no idea what I was releasing upon the world. However, in spite of what you keep telling the media, I maintain that the top otter’s hands ARE in front of its mouth. But let me buy you a drink and we’ll call it evens…
10 Romantic Novel Heroes With Sillier Names Than Benedict Cumberbatch
(All are from real books that actually exist and are apparently not parodies.)
1. Chance Quarrels
2. Steed Dare
3. Tweed Brown
4. Breed Grayhawk
5. Lord Phineas Trimble
6. Thorne the Relentless
7. The Honorable Brixton Smythe-Medway
8. King Vandergiff
9. Zurich Kingdom
10. Sir Marmaduke Strongbow
Warning: True romance and close proximity to the back end of a horse are not usually a happy combination.
Fancy a spot of Musketeers merchandise? Well, the thing about a fandom that’s been around for 170 years is that lots of branding opportunities have already been exploited. For instance, you can buy Athos brandy, Porthos brandy, Aramis brandy, (Cardinal) Richelieu brandy, Milady cranberry liqueur… and D’Artagnan sausages.
Yeah, I’m not sure what it is about D’Artagnan that says “phallic meat product”, but what the heck. Anyone for an end-of-season brandy and sausage party?
As you know, I watch Hannibal for the plot, so you can probably imagine how disturbing it is that a formerly classy show is now so shamelessly filled with this sort of filthy, filthy pornography. I am deeply, DEEPLY agitated. Oh yes.
How much do I love Bedelia du Maurier? The answer is lots.